In the past few months I keep being asked about the people who have had the most significant influence on my life. It may sound a bit corny but my parents and grandparents, along with two other incredible mentors, are the people who have most shaped who I am today. None of my grandparents are alive and my father passed away 17 years ago. One of my mentors is no longer with us either, Ann Richards, but her words ring strongly in my ear all the time. The other, Quincy Jones, is both a friend and an inspiration. I spent a Friday evening two weeks ago at his house and talked about his many new projects around the globe. He is a dynamic, talented, passionate man and he continues to live a robust life at the young age of 77!
I am fortunate to come from a family that has inspired me, in different ways and at different times in my life, but overall they gave me a piece of them that is integral to the person I am today. It is more recently that I have thought about how each person has influenced me.
My dad, John Rees, was a passionate entrepreneur. He was the most influential person in my life. He was the guy who could take ideas and make them into something real. He wasn’t always successful. In fact, he probably had more failures than successes, but he never stopped trying. Plus his successes were big home runs. He especially inspired me in how he treated people. To him, no one person was better than another. He believed we are all the same. He always told me that education was the great equalizer in society. He never blamed anyone for their circumstance, he just believed they didn’t have the education to know the difference.
Life lesson: We all have the capacity to have an impact in the world. You can be whatever you want to be.
My paternal grandmother, Dolores Carnevale Rees, was an elegant strong woman. She came to the US as a young girl from Italy. She was not formally educated. She worked in a beauty salon and saved her tips to invest in real estate. She bought property in class A locations. She was not book smart but she was certainly wise. She dressed impeccably, most often in suits with a pin on her lapel. She used olive oil in her hair and on her skin.
Life lesson: Hold your head up, dress nicely and you can fit in anywhere.
My paternal grandfather, Arthur Rees, was a big tough guy to most people, but to me he was a softy. When he would see me he would start singing “You Are My Sunshine.” He had a high school degree and was an industrial plumber by trade. The most defining characteristic about him was he was his own person. He always wanted to be a pilot, but my grandmother didn’t want to him to fly. So after her death, when he was 86 years old, he got his pilot’s license.
Life lesson: Be authentic. You are never too old to fulfill your dreams.
My maternal grandfather, Anthony Pernetti, also came to the US from Italy. He was an optometrist when my mother was growing up but he always wanted to be a medical doctor. So when my mother went off to college, my grandfather went to medical school… in Italy! He became an ophthalmologist and did eye surgery up until the day he died. He used to tell me if I really wanted something in life I had to “sweat blood.” It was his way of telling me I had to be tough. He gave me Gray’s Anatomy for my 13th birthday. I was going to become a doctor to follow in his footsteps. I ultimately decided I was better suited for my career in business.
Life Lesson: You can accomplish anything with hard work no matter your age.
My maternal Grandmother, E. Jeane Resigno Pernetti. She was a school teacher, like my mother, and retired after 33 years of teaching. Because she was a teacher she was a life long learner. She was more in the background when I was growing up. You know the typical Italian family of men in the study and the women in the kitchen. I always wanted to be in the study, so I didn’t know her as well when I was young. But after my grandfather passed away when I was in college, she blossomed. She traveled around the world by herself. She loved to explore new places and learn about new cultures. Up until her death at 99, whenever she read she would write down words she didn’t know, look up their meaning and add to her vocabulary.
Life Lesson: Stay curious, keep learning, it will keep you young.
My mother, Joan Pernetti Rees, is now a San Francisco resident. I grew up with her always singing, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” She always wanted to live here and now she is fulfilling that dream. She had stayed on the East Coast to be with my grandmother up until her death. My mother started out as a teacher and then focused on raising four kids. My father never would have achieved what he did without my mother as a support, guide, caretaker and resource. She was in the background but she was the one who made it all work. She is an amazing grandmother. She has a generosity of spirit that makes everyone want to be with her. When she smiles she lights up a room.
Life lesson: You don’t have to be out in front to have an impact. Never lose your love for life and people.
As part of my participation in the Crown Fellows Program at the Aspen Institute I was assigned a mentor. I originally asked Madeline Albright to be my mentor, but she ultimately told me she didn’t have the time. Ann Richards then came to me and said she wanted to be my mentor. My relationship with Ann was one of the most powerful influences in my life. She lived her life anchored to the purpose to serve others. She was an authentic spirited Governor of Texas. She wanted her government to reflect the demographic composition of the state and she made that happen. She had the most amazing sense of humor. She came up with one-liners that would challenge the best comedians in the world. She was not the kind of mentor I would call to be nurtured… that is my mother’s job. In fact whenever I was feeling a bit down she would tell me to toughen up. She helped me access my own inner strength.
Life Lesson: As you gain power others will try to take it away. Stay connected to your values and focused on your goals.
Ten years ago, at a World Economic Forum Annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland I met Quincy Jones. We have developed a great friendship over the past decade. We talk about everything from music to new technologies to marriage. In fact, when my husband and I were first engaged Quincy had detailed astrological charts done for the two of us because he wanted to feel comfortable that this was the “right” guy. He gives his time and energy to others in a way that I both admire and hold up as my model of engagement. He is always “present” when we get together. He focuses on the here and now looking to the future. He does not get weighed down by his past.
Life lesson: Be present and engaged each day by sharing your passion. Though our pasts may have had challenges we have the ability to positively shape the future.
In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. —Albert Schweitzer

